Making little choices toward happiness

Many people, quite understandably, find themselves particularly concerned with the pursuit of happiness. It is in our nature to seek pleasure and avoid pain and so, there is much thought, theorizing, planning, and behavior concerned with how to achieve happiness. When people are struggling with difficult circumstances or not feeling well, it is common to perceive others as simply "being happy," some kind of fixed state, that they seemed to have achieved quite easily. For the most part, this viewpoint is deceiving. It seems that people must occupy themselves with various behaviors to cultivate happiness; it tends not to simply fall in our laps. Often, we are under the impression that happiness is this far off state. That it can exist in the distant future, if we only make ourselves busy achieving, meeting goals and milestones, perhaps we will be happy in retirement. I would argue that happiness, contentment, a state of balance, inner peace, and gratitude seem to be available in smalls ways right here in the present, with each new moment. It seems to be that the "little choices' we make in our everyday lives can either lead us toward or against a state of happiness. That is not to suggest that we do not need to plan or engage in longer-term thinking to move toward happiness. Living in the modern world certainly requires that kind activity. For example, if we feel that a certain occupation will bring us satisfaction, we must engage in long-term thinking and planning to pursue that occupation and achieve the career goals that will likely contribute to our sense of happiness.

However, it seems that people often forget about or neglect the other kind of activity that may very well lead to a sense of happiness and contentment; making those little, everyday choices right in front of us. Perhaps, it's as simple as choosing to wake up a half an hour earlier to allow ourselves the private time and space to meditate or read our book or the newspaper; setting the tone for the day. Often, it is making the choice to pause. To stop our "efficient" activity to reflect, to be truly in the moment, or to stop and do something to assist someone else. Maybe it's making the commitment to use the 45 minutes after you and/or your partner return from the workday to unplug from all technology and perhaps sit outside and catch up before moving on to the business of arranging dinner and getting ready for the following day. Perhaps it's making the choices to delay a chore or just spend time reading to or playing with your child. It could be as simple as taking the time to reach out and make a call to a friend, who's been struggling. We often get bogged down in guilty feelings and don't wish to feel "unproductive", but I would argue that pausing and creating a balance between the two different kinds of activity I'm describing is essential to developing a sense of peace and contentment, making it particularly productive activity. These moments, when we are present, when we allow ourselves the time to do things that make us feel truly alive, when we pause to give our full attention to someone we love, when we go out of our way to assist someone in need, these are the moments that nourish us. These are the experiences that give us strength and the capacity to move forward, working hard at achieving our goals. Below are a few questions to consider in evaluating how you might make more little choices to move toward happiness.

*Where can you create space in your life to more often make little choices toward happiness?

*What kinds of experiences make you feel alive and inspired?

*How can you incorporate more of that into everyday life?

*How can you "pause" more often to allow yourself to live more in the present moment? When? Be specific.

*In what small ways can you "pause" to contribute to others?